The Enneagram
Last week I took a poll asking how many people knew what the Enneagram was and to my surprise, it was pretty 50/50!
The Enneagram is a personality test I was introduced to… 10 years ago now and it’s become one of those tools I always keep with me!
Robb Davidson Photography
I love the Enneagram for a few reasons.
First, I love how simple the Enneagram can be to initially learn and I love how complex it can get with things like wings & subtypes.
I also love that the Enneagram outlines what each type looks like when they’re healthy (growth) and unhealthy (stress). It’s really helpful for me to catch myself and to understand the people around me better.
I’ve found that this is especially helpful when working with couples!
No person can be typed exactly. We’re all unique! However, when working with couples on one of the most exciting (and sometimes stressful) events of their lives, it’s helpful. 😉
Freedom in Discovery
I’m so glad I was introduced to the Enneagram in college!
It’s the age we’re all trying to discover who we are. For me, first time “away” from home, this was especially true. (A whole 45 minutes away.)
However, figuring out who you are takes on a whole new level of challenge when who you are, feels like someone you’re not supposed to be.
I’ve been called a, “bull in a china shop.” I’ve been called “bossy” more times than I can count and I’ve been told women are supposed to be quite and supportive of their husbands.
If you know me… You know that’s not who I am.
Super supportive of Blake of course! Team Watson For Life! But the rest of it?
I think it’s one of the reasons I loved discovering the Enneagram! While I was skeptical at first. I quickly realized there were other people like me! Adventurous, bold and I discovered my experience as a female 8 was kind of normal. (Bummer!)
From there I was hooked.
I realized the more I learn about myself, others and the way others perceive me, the more I could grow.
Enneagram Basics
The Enneagram has 9 different types. Creatively titled; 1, 2, 3 and so on. They say when teaching about the Enneagram, it’s helpful to consider the different personalities.
For example, the 7 or often called “The Enthusiast” is the last type you should talk about because as soon as a 7 hears about their number, they will get all excited, leave and start looking into their number more. 😂
The 4 thinks they are none of the numbers and the 9 thinks they are all of the numbers!
Anyways.
There are all sorts of funny things about each number. Again. Not that you can be defined by a number. You can’t. But this can be a really fun tool, especially as you begin this next chapter as husband and wife.
Robb Davidson Photography
The 8 And The 1
This has been an especially helpful tool for Blake and I.
…
Okay, mostly me. 🙂 Though, Blake has come to a couple workshops with me and could talk about it a bit.
- I’m a Social 8w9 (The Challenger or The Protector)
- Blake is a 1w9 (The Perfectionist or The Reformer)
The common conclusion is that a 1 and 8 combo is basically fire and ice. The power couple or total devastation. A “Relatively rare romantic pairing.”
It’s true. We’re aiming for power couple though. 😉
(… the squirle story comes to mind as an excellent example… maybe we’ll share it. 🙂 )
We both have a strong sense of right and wrong. We both love our friends and looking out for the underdog. While I’m a passionate fighter, he is strong willed and determine. Perfect when we’re in stride and a little challenging when we’re in a face off. 😂
Team Watson For Life
However, because of the Enneagram, we know this about each other. I can recognize when I’m not in a good spot and I can feel Blake’s energy and joy for life every day when he comes home.
We have more patience for each other because we understand each other. Our core values, strengths, weaknesses and fears.
When we understand each other, a “relatively rare romantic pairing,” turns into Team Watson For Life. We get to share joy. Come alongside each other, support each other and try to fight with understanding and fairness when those tensions come.
Because, I promise, no matter who you are, you will fight in marriage.
What if you could have more patience with each other when you do? More understanding? For us, learning how to understand each other through the Enneagram, has made a huge difference.
We say Team Watson For Life, but we’re also Team YOU TWO For Life!
Enneagram Resources
If you’re curious about the Enneagram, here are just a few of our favorite resources. 🙂
The Enneagram Made Easy – I LOVE recommending this book first! It’s super easy to read, full of funny illustrations and the perfect introduction to the Enneagram.
In fact, I’ve actually bought it 3 times! It’s probably the #1 book I “loan” out.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram – Once you’ve got the basics or if you’re just ready to jump into the deep end, this book is the way to go. I have not read it cover to cover. I guess you could, but it’s one of those books I use as a reference. While I can’t say for sure, at this point, I’ve probably read the whole thing.
There are a lot of other books I’ve used, but those are my two favorite recommendations. 🙂
If you’re looking for something online, I love to recommend the Enneagram Institute. It’s a great place for an Enneagram introduction and to see all the type descriptions.
You can take the test there, but I haven’t.
To discover your number, I always recommend reading the type descriptions. 🙂 Not just the good things, but take note of the shadow side as well. Most likely, one will stick out to you more than the rest. 😉
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! The Enneagram is something I love and I hope you can enjoy it too. If you have questions or have something you want to see Behind the Lens, let me know! I always love hearing from you. 🙂
Much Love Friend,
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March 3, 2020