Three Rules to Fight Fair in Marriage

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Watson Adventures

 

Our Hope

More than a photographer.

That’s what I want to be. That’s what we want to be.

Blake and I are huge fans of marriage and we’re huge fans of you!

That’s why we share. Not that we have all the answers, but in hope is that something we’ve learned over 7 years of marriage and 15 years of friendship would resonate with you.

Something would give you hope on the hard days.

 

Who We Are 

Blake and I are both fierce. We’re powerful. Oldest children. Fighters and strong willed. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called a bull in a china shop…

But guess what?

Those words don’t bother me anymore.

Because I’ve learned when to fight and how to fight fair.

There are three things Blake and I do to fight fair when we have a disagreement. They’re things we learned about when we were just dating and they’ve made all the difference.

 

 

#1. Always and Never are Unfair Fighting Words.

Always and Never are just not true.

It’s not true that Blake never puts a bag back into the trash can after he takes the garbage out.

He just usually doesn’t.

It’s not true that I always forget to take Blake’s paycheck to the bank on the first, second and third day he’s asked.

I just usually do.

Kidding, but these are real examples in our lives and if we use the words Always and Never, we get distracted from the real issue.

So to fight fair, we don’t allow ourselves to use the words “Always” and “Never.”

That leads to the next one…

 

#2. We get to the bottom of it quick.

Am I really mad because Blake didn’t start the dishwasher? Or am I upset because I feel like he didn’t listen and we haven’t had enough quality time, QT, this week?

That’s not to say we don’t walk away from each other when tempers, usually mine, rise.

Blake walks away to figure out what he is thinking.

I walk away to cool off, put things back into perspective.

However, we always come back to each other. We’re humble, honest and we share what was really bothering us.

We can do this because of our Mantra and our Goal.

Our Mantra: Team Watson For Life

We have the same mantra. I know he is on my team. We can trust each other. That means I can come back to Blake and be honest.

Our Goal: To Love and To Serve. When we’re feeling competitive, To Out-Love and Out-Serve each other. 😉

Still athletes. Still competitive.

I know Blake’s heart. It’s aligned with mine. I can be honest with him. When I realize what I really need is more QT with him, he wants to make that happen.

But we have to be able to communicate. To get to the bottom of it quickly. And part of that leads me to our third rule for fighting fair.

 

#3. Hold each other’s hands while fighting.

I know. I remember the first time someone told me that too. But go with me for a second.

How angry can you really be when you’re holding your loved one’s hands?

The anger melts away.

When you hold their hands and look into their eyes, you remember who they are.

Blake reminds me we’re on the same team.

I remember that our goal is to love and to serve each other.

It puts everything back into perspective.

I remember the man I married and we’re able to get to the bottom of it faster.

 

 

Fighting Fair Today for Tomorrow

In marriage you will always have disagreements.

Blake and I have been friends for 15 years. Together for 10. Married for 7.

We’ve dated long distance. (A whole 45 minutes apart.) We’ve planned a wedding. Both started businesses. We’ve debated where to live. Survived a pandemic. Bought a house. Remodeled my office… We’ve had plenty of opportunity to fight.

But there will be bigger fights in our future.

That’s why it’s so important to fight fair now.

Build your muscle memory. Fight fair by cutting Always and Never out, by getting to the bottom of it quickly and holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes as you disagree.

In marriage you will have challenges. But it’s worth it!

Fight fair.

We’re cheering you on!

 

 

Much Love Friend,

 

 

Other Posts You May Like…

Our Story: How We Met

Enneagram: The 8 and The 1- Loving Each Other Well

Choosing Intentionality

Our Story: The Wild Hog Vs. Me 

Three Ways to Include Dad in Your Wedding

When I “Knew” Blake Was The “One”

How to Include Your Dog on Your Wedding Day

Entrepreneurs: Why Branding Sessions

February 10, 2021

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